Who I am

Every year I look back on what I've accomplished and what I've learned. Who I've become friends with and who I've lost. I remember the mistakes I've made and the lessons I've learned, but most importantly the experiences that have shaped me into who I am today. I didn't plan for this to be a poem, but it started to rhyme, so I decided to take a chance. This is my first poem.... so it's going to be pretty rough.

Today I am a girl, just like everyday
With a steady gaze and hazel eyes,
With long brown hair that can shine like a ray,
Who is kinda tall, only 5'5"
Imperfect, but perfect in her own way.

A girl who wears mostly Abercrombie and Hollister,
Hoping her makeup is just right,
Who looks preppy and proper,
but only during the daylight.

A girl who goes natural in the security of her home,
Without makeup and perfect hair,
Who wears her favorite pair of sweats and turns off her phone,
Reading a book, not giving a care,
Content with the quietness of being alone.

A girl who gets scared by a freaky thought,
But watches countless crime shows at night,
Who learns from the lessons that mistakes have taught,
Who never goes down without a fight,
resulting in countless of scars from battles fought.

A girl who wants peace and hope,
Who wants to see smiles on everyones face,
Wanting to help everyone cope,
Who puts people first, not caring about their religion or race.

A girl who loves her friends,
Who has countless memories of their inside jokes and happiness,
Knowing that she will be with them til the end,
Who gives and has a shoulder to cry on in times of sadness,
And will always keep in touch. Read, reply, send.

A girl who has thoughts on everything,
Who has ADD and cannot keep her feet still,
Who squeezes her mouth shut, even though blurting out is tempting,
Who gives good advice, but never follows her own on free will.

A girl who dreams of showing who she really is to everyone in time,
Who wants to be seen, yet be hidden,
Who wants to be well known, but anonymous and clandestine,
Like a spy who wants to be free, but forbidden.

A girl who expresses herself though art,
Who finds music mystifying and beautiful,
Who is either just doodling or creating a master piece from her heart,
And who is always looking for something wonderful.

Mother, mere, mama, mom, mommy, whatever she's called.

I love my mom.
I know.... Shocker.
Who doesn't love their mom? Don't answer that, some people might have reasons.
But I do not care.
My mom carried me for 9 months, throwing up and all those horrible things that come with pregnancy.
She had always prayed for a little girl with brown hair and big brown eyes. God must really love her, (He loves all of us.. duh! :P) because she got what she wanted. A girl with brown hair and brown eyes. (I would've preferred hazel eyes, but I'm not complaining.) My mom is my best friend. I go to her with everything. (Don't get me wrong, I love my daddy to pieces, but my mom and I have a bond that only a mother and daughter can have.)
She has always been there for me and for that, I am truly grateful.
I make sure to tell her that I love her every chance I get. You can never say "I love you" too much. I have learned that.
I do not know what I will do when she is gone.
But I do not want to think about that right now.
I still have plenty (God willing) of years with her.
I mean, I'm only in eighth grade, so I won't be going off to college for another 4 years. Oh boy... College. I seriously think that my parents are considering moving out to wherever I chose to go.... Do you know any good forensic science schools that are in Pennsylvania?
My mom tells me the best stories about my childhood. I have the worst memory of it. I think that it is because when I was 5, I hit my head on a tree and I blacked out for about 5 minutes. I seriously can only remember one or two things from before that.
My favorite story is about an elephant.... It might also be my most embarrassing story, but I've learned to laugh it off.
So I was at the zoo in the elephant house, sitting in my stroller minding my own business, waving at the baby elephant. Well apparently the mama elephant did not like this because she decided to pick up a pile of poop and chuck it at me. There I was totally relaxed, only to be suddenly covered in elephant crap. Mother's will obviously do anything to protect their children..
I just love my mom.
I know that I've already said that but I really, really do!
I hope that one day my daughter can look at me and feel the same amount of love (maybe even more) that I feel for my mom.
I know that my mom loves me because she drives me to school everyday. Now, I know that it doesn't seem that important, but she gets up in the morning at five, makes me my lunch, attempts to wakesup my dad and I, makes us breakfast, eats her breakfast, does her bible study, and is usually the one who is ushering me out the door. She drives me, even though she dreads it, because she's an awesome person. Now I doubt that she will drive me next year when I have to catch the bus at 6:30 a.m.  but that's okay because she has done so much for me already and I am grateful for that.
My mom has the best faith in God. She goes to church more than 2 times a week. She is always wanting to help people. She is always at the outreach or organizing functions to raise money or food for people who are less fortunate than us at church. I hope that one day I can be like her, it would be an honor. She, and my dad, are the ones that keep me active in my faith.
I know that my mom is my hero. She always will be.
I love her to the bottom of my heart.
So mom, thanks for being my mom and Happy Mother's Day.
Love you!
Ali

Friends

In life, there are always going to be those certain people who you just love. They are called "Friends."
Friends are people who you can look up too. They are the ones you can trust with your secrets. They are the ones that are always there for you and who you are always there for. Even though people have different opinions on what a friend is, they usually can agree on somethings. So I'm going to tell you what I think a true friend is....
1.) Someone you can look up to.
2.) Someone who is always there for you
3.) Someone who you are always there for
4.) Someone who you can trust
5.) Someone who trusts you
6.) Someone who knows your secrets
7.) Someone who laughs at you when you fall down... then helps you get back up... then pushes you back down.
8.) Someone who encourages you
9.) Someone who believes in you
10.) Someone who stands up for you
11.) Someone that you have a ton of things in common with.. or nothing in common with.
12.) Someone you can be yourself with.
13.) Someone who is like a sister/brother to you.
14.) Someone who you can be totally crazy with and they won't care at all.
15.) Someone who you talk to constantly
16.) Someone who you are inseparable from.
17.) Someone who you love like a sister/brother
18.) Someone who is like family
19.) Someone who will always forgive you
20.) Someone who lets you cry on their shoulder and knows that they can cry on yours.
21.) Someone who accepts you for who you are... even when you are being a bum.
22.) Someone who is totally okay that you are completely out of your mind
23.) Someone who knows you better than you do
24.) Someone who remembers your passwords and tells you them when you forget.
25.) Someone you can go shopping with
26.) Someone who knows your schedule better than you do (In a non-creepy way. :P)
27.) Someone who tells you "Good luck," and means it.
28.)Someone who helps you try new things
29.) Someone who is as crazy as you are
30.) Someone who will do whatever you want to do with you... even if it is a horrible idea and you could probably die trying it.

Friends, True friends, are extremely important. Whenever you have someone that special in your life, never let them go, even if they hurt your feelings. I've lost several good friends throughout my life. We stopped talking, moved our separate ways, and slowly faded out of each others memory. Never let that happen. You have to work through your problems. You guys have to talk it out! It's not everyday that someone who is like you in many ways, someone who understands you, and someone who you trust comes into your life. They are all different in many ways, even though they have the same qualities, but the one thing that they all have in common is.... You miss them terribly when they go.
Hold on to your friends, they are the ones who will be there for you in the high and low points in your life. Having many friends, even just one, is better than not having anyone to talk to.
This is a huge world, but out of the billions of people on this planet, only a few are your true best friends. That is why they are so important to hold on to.

Standardized Tests *Insert disapproval here*

I'm sure that everyone has taken a standardized test before. In my 14 years of life, I have taken the PSSA's, the IOWA's and the Cogats. I have probably taken more, unfortunately, I probably have memory loss from all the preparation we have to do for these tests... Which is the reason why I cannot remember if I have taken more or not.. (The sad part is... I have no clue what any of those stand for.) I have taken the PSSA's every year since 5th grade or maybe it was the IOWA's. I can't remember, but I do know one thing. Last week, the 13th, 14th, and 15th of March, the 6th, 7th, and 8th graders were taking the PSSA's.

I walked into my eighth grade homeroom with one of my best friends, Eliza. Everything seemed completely normal and fine... Until the guidance counselors came onto the announcements. *Attention teachers, make sure that all of your students are in your room. Please collect all cell phones, iPods, cameras, (cameras... really?) and any other electronic devices. Testing will begin shortly, please start distributing the test and answer booklets.* (I roll my eyes at their words, it was so obvious that they had rehearsed what to say many times.) Groans and complaints from my classmates filled the room, but I did not join in. As the teacher, Mr. P, walked around, collecting said "electronic devices," one of the many smart mouthed kids in my class decided to be difficult. "Mr. P, my calculator is electronic, do you need to collect that too?" "Nah." (My HR teacher is pretty cool, so he's used to it.) "But I can write messages on my calculator. Wouldn't that be considered cheating?" "Just don't cheat," Mr. P replies. "I can't promise anything....." Sometimes I wonder why people love making things difficult. I sit in my seat waiting for testing to begin, I just want to get it over with. Everything was going great, the math portion of the test was pretty easy, and I was almost done. I have had 3 good math teachers this year. The first one, Mr. M was diagnosed with colon cancer at the end of the 1st semester. To be honest, if he wasn't our teacher for that small portion of time, I would not have liked math as much.(Don't worry! He is all better, but he is waiting to come back. Recovering from cancer takes a long time!) His replacement was Mr. W... about half of the girls in our class had a crush on him, I was not one of them. Next comes Ms. C, she is so funny and a really good teacher. She is the one who has been preparing us for the tests. Now back on topic!
 I had just closed my test booklet, when someone decides to make farting noises. Now, I have to admit, it was pretty funny. You know how it is. Dead quiet, you could hear a pin drop, when suddenly someone.. you know... toots. Everyone was trying to cover up their snickers and giggles.. Quite unsuccessfully in my opinion. Mr. P tells us to settle down. (Apparently laughing could be considered cheating.... Oh standardized tests, do you know how much I love you?)
Next comes the reading portion. You have to read a passage on something, answer the multiple choice questions, then do a written response. After that, you read another passage or two, answer the multiple choice questions, and do another written response! It's so much fun! (NOT!)
Luckily the class listened to the teacher and behaved.
When I finished the reading portion, I once again closed my booklet. Looking around the room, I realized how amazingly intelligent my classmates are. A couple seats behind me, someone was "reading" their book upside down. That takes a lot of skill. Another was trying to catch food in their mouth.. trying. A couple were coloring stick figures with crayons.... not that there is anything wrong with crayons.. They're pretty fun to use.
Other than that, everyone else seemed normal.
The dead silence was rudely interrupted by the guidance counselors once more, *Teachers, there is 10 minutes left of testing. We will come on again to dismiss students who need extra time to specific locations. We will then dismiss students to first period. Please start collecting materials.* Again, waaayyyy to rehearsed. I practically have it memorized because we've been hearing the same thing since our first PSSA test. I guess some people don't like change.
This continued for 2 more days.
Everyday I heard the collective groans and the sighs of relief when the tests were over. I heard my friends and enemies saying, "Why do we have to do this?" "This is so stupid!" "They cannot force us to take these tests!"
I've learned that in life, you are going to have to do things you really don't want to do. Instead of complaining about it and making it more miserable for you and others, be positive. If you do it with a positive attitude, it will mostly likely be more enjoyable for you. (and for others because they won't have to hear you complain.) Life will be more enjoyable. I used to be really negative about taking standardized tests, but lately, I've realized that it is mandatory. I learned that I need to accept that I will take the tests. This time, in 8th grade, I was positive about them. I tried not to complain and at the end, I was able to be happy that I tried to do my best. I did not have the feeling of relief because they were over, instead, I had the feeling of satisfaction.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter what, if you have a positive attitude, you will come out smiling. (even if it takes a really long time to realize.)

School

I cannot believe that school is almost over... well, 3 months. Time really does fly! Not literally.
9th grade will be starting in August. I'm taking 4 honors classes. Honors Biology, Honors English, Honors Geometry, and Honors American and European History.  I have no clue why I capitalized all of those....
I'm not sure what else to say.
This was a very sucky blog post.
Sorry!
Don't do drugs.

Dreams

How many of you have dreams? (That's a weird question to ask.. almost everyone has dreams.. I hope.)
I have the strangest dreams.
They are usually funny.
They are usually violent.
And they usually involve my friends getting pushed of cliffs by monkey's wearing tutu's....
They are also usually very twisted and my friends usually find them very offensive. I do too, because the monkey's usually attack me.
Last night I had a dream where I was reading a book. Normal, huh? Nope.
I was just sitting there reading the book, but the weird part is... someone was reading the book to me. I cannot remember the words, but it was so clear and it sounded like an actual story/passage. It wasn't like a romance novel or teen book, but it seemed like it was from a long time ago. What I mean is the kind of books that Shakespeare, Mark Twain, and other famous authors wrote. It had meaning and a purpose. I am not saying that the books these days are useless. They aren't. I love reading books so much. It's just that this one seemed like a legendary book. Okay. It sounded like a very advanced novel that Englished scholars would study, but this book probably did not exist. That is why I find this dream so weird. I've had a couple dreams like these before. I do not know how to explain it.
Okay, I should probably stop talking because you probably think that I have gone totally crazy... again.
So, the dreams with the monkeys..
They usually start off with one of my friends dancing very awkwardly, stupidly, and dangerously close to the edge of a cliff. They are normally wearing a really weird outfit. (One that they wouldn't be caught dead in) Then a random monkey runs out from a random bush that just decided to show up. They yell, "Boo!" at my friend, which then causes her to fall of the cliff...
I think that I need help.

People

It seems like I've been apologizing a lot lately on here. So here it goes, I'm sorry that I haven't been on here in a while, I've been so busy, blah, blah, blah. You get the point... right? Do you know what really annoys me?
People. Who. Always. Think. That. They. Are. Right.
I don't have a reason to get annoyed with them, it just happens. I was (notice how I said "was." This means that we are not friends anymore.) friends with this person who believed that they were always right. Remember, I'm only in 8th grade, so this is pretty cocky of him. He was positive that his political views, opinions for himself and for other people, his wants, his needs, his answers, literally everything, were correct. Sometimes they were, but other times, they were so far from right, it wasn't even funny.
 I am part Native American. One of my ancestors married Tecumseh's grand niece or sister. (I think that Tecumseh was a Shawnee Indian Chief.) He tried to convince me that I was not Native American because it happened a long time ago. I might not have the "Native American" features, but the rest of my family does. According to him, I am not even "part" Native American because it happened, maybe, 400 years ago. I am not sure why, but I am extremely protective of my ancestry and family history. My dad and I both share the interest of where we are from and who our ancestors are. That was kind of an insult to me. You're most likely confused why... Even though they married into our family a few centuries ago, they are still part of our family and our history. If something happened a while ago, it doesn't mean that it never existed. It is still part of history, even if it is a small part. Okay, now I'm confused. I just don't like people telling me that my family history is wrong. You're probably thinking that I'm over reacting.
I'm not.
He then proceeded to tell me that my political views, my PARENTS political views, and my GRAND PARENTS political views were wrong. I hate politics. They get a lot of people in trouble and they cause a large amount of tension between people. That is why I am not choosing sides until I have to vote. Did I mention that this is coming from an 8th grader? Isn't that kind of.. oh I don't know... horrible? He said that not having a political party was wrong. I'm only 14, I won't be voting for another 4 years. I definitely will not be choosing his political party. I'm choosing my parents, 1, because I can, and 2. I want to tick him off.
This just has me so worked up, even though it shouldn't. I just need to get it off my chest, then I'll be okay.
He tends to assume that people want what he wants and he thinks that he knows what people want. He persistently told me that I wanted to take advanced gym. I am horrible at gym, I have absolutely no clue how I have an A. I would be amazed with a B. It's not that I'm fat or out of shape, I just really hate participating or sweating.... Did I mention that I have gym first period? (That is the reason that I don't like to sweat.) When I told him that I do not want to take advanced gym, he would not stop saying it. I like making my own decisions and I tend to get defensive when people repeatedly try to tell me what I want to do. I'm totally fine with my parents, family, and teachers giving me suggestions, ideas, and helping me out. (Also telling me how to do things, what to do, like chores, homework... etc.) I just don't want to be judged by someone who is my age. What does he know about life? What do I know about life?
I've been told that I'm annoying before. I'm totally fine with it too, it is part of who I am. The reason I've been called that is not because I tell people what to do (I don't) it is because I am literally crazy. (Ask Anyone!)
This guy, makes me want to rip out hair and scream a really loud frustrated scream. (Maybe do some foot stomping) He also makes me want to put duct tape over his mouth.. forever. Of course he would still be able to breath, because if he couldn't, then that would be mean! Duh. He makes me want to give him a Gibb's Slap. (NCIS people will get this.) Is that so wrong?
I just wish that people with true knowledge would share it with people and people who think that they have knowledge would keep their thoughts to themselves... or just post their opinions on Facebook and let people ridicule them....
The last thing that just makes me want to scream is that he thinks he is so amazing and that everyone loves him........  I think that anyone who is semi-intelligent would know that what he thinks ^^^^^^ right there.. is not right.
People like him make me extremely concerned for our generation......... God help us..

Catching up continued (3)

I have always loved Thanksgiving. There is just something about it, the family, the parade, and maybe the fact that I can eat as much as I want, and not feel fat for eating like a hippopotamouse.(that is spelled wrong)
I also love decorating for Chistmas. We have two trees, one for the game room, and one for the living room. The one in the game room has all of the homemad ornaments, the kind that have sentimental value to my mom. (Since I'm very artistic, I take one look at the crafts I made in pre-school, and become so embarrassed) The tree in the living room has all of our other ornaments. I think that they are called, "Old World ornaments." We have a lot of them. Mostly they are of santa's, angels, or stars. But there are some that I absolutley love; a turtle, a fat penguin, a squirrel, and this fish that is rainbow.
I was allowed to start decorating the tree about 2 years ago. I drop and break many things....
Another thing about Christmas that I love is baking! My mom and I, mostly my mom, bake non-stop. Chocolate chip cookies, andes mints cookies, peanut butter cookies, hershey kiss cookies, and many other cookies.We could feed a small army!
I also enjoy getting presents, but I really like to give them too. It's always fun to watch the persons face as they open their gift. For my friends, we don't really give each other gifts, we just compete to see who can make the awesomest cards. It's really cool.
The best part about Christmas though, is that it's when Jesus was born.... and there's no school!

Catching up continued (2)

The months go by quickly, September, October, November, and now December. It's already half way into the second grading period. But lets rewind a little to... Halloween!
      Erin, Delaney, and I went trick-or-treating together this year. Yes, I know, a little childish, but who doesn't like free candy from total strangers? For me, candy is only one of the perks about Halloween, but the costumes, are everything. I don't go all out, my friends do, but I make sure that it is just right. We went as neon nerds. Plaid button down top tucked into shorts, zebra glow-in-the-dark suspenders, and neon animal print socks. We froze our butts off, mostly because it was 30 degress and raining, (we forgot the umbrella) but it was totally worth it though! In the end, we had so much candy that we had no clue what to do with it. This resulted in us having a huge candy war. There were only a few minor injuries...
Delaney and I ended up singing karaoke the rest of the night, well she sang, I don't really know what I did, but you wouldn't call it singing.
When I got home, I ate half of my candy, and I didn't even throw up. The only thing that sucked was that we didn't have monday off. This was not wise of the school because kids + candy + lack of sleep = crazy kids.
It's even worse for me, because of the ADHD. Before school I had even more candy, and about 2 cups of coffee, my hands were literally vibrating. When this happens its like the CAFFINE APOCALYPSE! I feel so bad for my teachers... and friends, I think that I bit around 7 people that day, half of them I didn't even know.
I'm going to stop writing before I say something that will probably get me arrested, or put in a mental hospital...
BYE!

Catching Up.

I haven't blogged in a long, long time. Forgive me.
Time just flies whether or not you realize it. So many things have happened since I last wrote. Since it is a Saturday, and I don't have anything to do right now, I'm going to give you a summary of the past months.

           My perspective on the "First Day of School":
               You wake up extra early to get ready, who doesn't on the first day? You also have all of your outfits picked out for the whole week, back to school shopping is amazing! You then eat a light breakfast, because your stomach is to jittery with excitement to be hungry. Although you're dreading the long walk to my bus stop, okay, that's an exageration, but it is a big hill, you can't wait to see your friends! Your neighbor is already there, and his mom too, who is prepared with her camera, unfortionatley, is ready to start snapping photos. It's kind of a tradition to take a picture on the first day of school, for the parents. In every single one, all of us look so depressed, you can see the dread on each of our faces. Then the bus comes, you can hear it way before you see it, you get on, find a seat, and then the bus driver floors it before you're halfway down the isle. Everything's great, until you actually get to school. You wander around lost for half of the day, arriving 15 minutes late to almost every class, and realizing that you're not the only born with out a sense of direction. So far, you are loving it. No homework, great teachers, and classes with all of your friends. The day goes by quickly, the end bell rings, and you can almost hear everyone thinking, "Oh thank God!" You agree with them too, but you enjoyed the day, and you can't wait to come back tomorrow. Then it hits you, hard, you have to go to school tomorrow, and the next day, and the next for 185(?) days. Monday through Friday, with activities after school, you will try to squeeze in homework, but you can't guarentee anything. Suddenly the bus becomes a hearse, school becomes the prision, and the teachers, well they are just doing their job. School just isn't kindergarten anymore.